My Dad’s Terrible Child-Care Activities, Ranked

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The key is to dream up a project that is both overly ambitious and easily derailed by the absence of one key tool or piece of equipment. Can’t do anything until we find the hoe! Start looking, kids! The longer the search goes on, the angrier you should get. Bonus points if you repeat a curse in a signature cadence often enough that your children can still hear it in their heads three decades later. GOTdamn sonofaBITCH!